Becoming Carmen Read online

  Carmen felt tears well in her eyes as her lips parted, but no words came out. She wiped her eyes and shrugged. "I get to see everyone I love happy, and I continue my grandfather's legacy." She puffed out her chest in pride at that, and Anthony found himself a bit angry that the world could steal a seventeen-year-old girls' ability to have hope and dreams for herself. He had felt the same way after he first returned from the military and, although he was hesitant to give a diagnosis, he suspected that Carmen suffered from post-traumatic stress. He wondered if there was any correlation between that and his strong affinity towards her, a bond they shared. He decided then that if he could climb out of the muck and mire of life's bullshit, he could bring Carmen out of it as well.

  He smiled gently at her and decided to lighten the conversation. "Well, it's getting dark. We had better get you home."

  Carmen wondered if she had scared him away with her tears and show of weakness, and mentally, she scolded herself as they walked back to his car. Suddenly, she became aware of two men who were approaching them, noticeably staggering, which suggested that they were somehow impaired or on something.

  Anthony noticed them as well and immediately stepped in front of Carmen, shielding her from their line of sight. They stopped in front of them, and the taller of the two men faced Anthony while the shorter man raised a beer bottle to his lips, angling his head to get a better look at Carmen.

  "Now, whatcha got back there?" he slurred, gesturing with the bottle towards Carmen.

  "Shut up, Josh," the taller man snapped. "You're making our new friends here a little nervous. We just wondered if you all might have a few dollars to spare. We ran out of gas and needed a little help," he said to Anthony.

  Anthony raised his hands to show that they were empty. "Sorry man, nothing for you here."

  The man cocked his head, and his tone hardened, "See; now I know ya lying cause ya didn't even check your wallet."

  Carmen stepped out from behind Anthony then, nervous but getting pissed.

  "Carmen, get back behind me!" he hissed. She ignored him and took another step forward, hearing him cursing quietly. "We don't have any money, so leave us alone," she stated firmly.

  "Shut up, bitch," the one named Josh snarled at her. "How about you give us the keys to your car over there, then?" he nodded towards a lone car, a late model Camaro, in the parking lot. Carmen went still as she began to feel déjà vu, and Anthony sensed rather than saw her change in demeanor.

  "Hey," Anthony said calmly, snapping his fingers at Josh to regain his attention. "Watch your mouth. There's no need to speak to the lady like that. It's me you're meant to be focused on, leave her out of this. It's time you both left."

  It was Josh who moved first, attempting to charge at Anthony like a bull with his head down. Anthony sidestepped him and stuck out a foot, causing him to trip and land at Carmen's feet.

  She picked up the beer bottle which had rolled out of his hand and, without hesitance, she raised it over her head and crashed it down on Josh's with force. He fell back down, face first in the dirt, and remained motionless. Shattered glass shone on the ground, winking brilliantly in the setting sunset. Carmen stood among the shards like a wild woman. The lip of the bottle still in her hands, braced for another attack.

  "Come on you fucker," she growled at the other man, jabbing at the air with the broken bottle. "Come on!" she yelled. "I'll fucking take you out!"

  Anthony recognized that she was becoming hysterical. The man on the ground stirred and moaned, and Anthony let out a sigh of relief that he was alive. He wasn't sure if law enforcement would let Carmen go free with a second death on her hands. He looked to the other man and could barely contain a laugh at the blatant fear on his face.

  "You two better get the fuck out of here," he drawled, still chuckling. "Before my girlfriend gets pissed."

  The tall man leaned forward to help his friend up, never taking his eyes off Carmen. As the two thugs scurried away, he shouted over his shoulder. "Your crazy bitch! We just wanted a little fun and some gas money!"

  When he was sure that they were gone, Anthony turned to Carmen, who was shaking like a leaf. Her face was covered in sweat and tears, and her eyes were wild with panic. He approached her slowly, speaking in a soft and low tone. "It's me, okay baby? I got you. Nobody's ever going to hurt you again." She finally looked him in the eyes and let the broken bottle slip from her hands, and Anthony reached for her slowly. She fell into his arms, sobbing hysterically and he rubbed her back lightly, lifting her up and sitting on a nearby bench with her in his lap. He cradled her, and rocked back and forth gently, suspecting that no one had held her in such a manner since before her grandfather's death. He continued to hold her until her gut-wrenching tears subsided to soft sobs and sniffles. When she had quieted, she peeked up at him, face flushed with tears.

  "Thank you," she choked out.

  "I'll always be here for you," he promised, looking down tenderly at the little spitfire in his arms. "Besides, I need someone like you to watch my back. Damn, girl! You bad!"

  Carmen giggled and curled her body tighter into his arms, finding peace in being held this way and letting someone else be strong for her for once. They stayed like that for a few minutes longer until patrolling park police ushered the couple out of the park as they were closing for the night.

  "Where the hell were they when we needed them?" Anthony grumbled as they headed for his car. Carmen slipped her hand in his and leaned against him.

  "That's okay," she whispered. "We've got each other."

  CHAPTER 7

  Carmen wasn't quite sure when she'd lost control of the planning of her wedding, but reflecting on it later, she'd supposed it was when she'd given Dani the reigns to set up the reception hall, which quickly extended to choosing the wedding cake, then the bridesmaid's dresses. From there, Dani became a whirlwind of activity that Carmen could not control. Dani was the first of the girls to marry, getting married to Trey Jackson just a few months after they graduated from high school. Six months after they were married, she was a mother. With being the only one of the girls who was married with a kid, she felt herself qualified to oversee the planning of Carmen's wedding. As far as she was concerned, she was the only one of them who was proficient in all things marital and therefore, the most qualified woman for the job.

  Dani entirely devoted herself to the task, yelling out directions and instructions to the staff she had hired to set up the reception hall, all while balancing her three-year-old son, Trey Jr. on her hip. She took charge of the event like she was born to do it. Her son peacefully sucked on his pacifier, unflinching while his mother barked orders at the staff, clearly familiar with this kind of activity from her. Trey Jr. was a perfect blend of all the best traits of his parents' ethnicities with his father's chocolate brown eyes, sharp features, and caramel gold complexion mixed with his mothers' natural beauty. It was evident that he was inheriting the height of both Dani and Trey with how long his legs were already growing. Dani stood at 5'11" in her bare feet while Trey Jackson was at least 6'5". His height, coupled with his natural talent, had gotten him drafted to a popular Los Angeles team with a very generous contract after his third year of playing elite level college basketball. Dani was living her dream life now. Although she had a very successful career as a child and teenage model for herself, the life she had always wanted was that of the wife of a professional athlete. She couldn't care less about what people thought about her ambitions; Dani had always been secure and sure of herself in that way. And now, here she was, determined to plan a beautiful wedding for one of her best friends, just like she had had for herself when she married Trey.

  Carmen had tried numerous times to tell Dani that they couldn't afford a lot of the things that she had planned, but every one of her objections fell on deaf ears.

  "Don't worry, honey," Dani replied when Carmen raised her worries about the cost of the wedding yet again. "Just wait until I'm finished; you're going to love everything!"


  Carmen could only groan in frustration and hope for the best. Carmen and her mother were paying the most significant part of the wedding costs. Anthony's parents had offered to pay as well, but Carmen's pride wouldn't allow her to burden his parents for too much of the expenses. And finally, Father Joseph had even asked people in their small church to contribute if they could, having started a fund for them. Carmen couldn't help but think of the several members of her church that would now be attending the wedding, adding to the list of people to feed and provide seating for. She was grateful for their help and everyone's efforts, but if anyone had taken the time to ask her what she wanted, a quaint and straightforward ceremony would have been more her taste.

  Carmen knew that she was going to have to reign Dani in, for her peace of mind. She decided that she would talk to her before her wedding to see if she could get her to cancel some of the more extravagant plans. She brought out her phone and dialed Dani and, after a few rings, the other woman answered.

  "Hey, Dani, I wanted to talk to you about some stuff," Carmen started.

  "Actually," Dani replied, "I was just about to call you. I need you to run an errand."

  Carmen huffed out an annoyed breath, "What is it?"

  "Please drop by Sherry's mom's house. There are some decorations that we need tomorrow that I forgot over there. Thanks, girl!" with that she hung up, leaving Carmen to listen to the dial tone.

  After closing the store, Carmen headed to Sherry's. She let herself into the dark house using her keys as this had been a second home to her for years. She barely shut the door before the lights blinked on by themselves, startling Carmen for a moment before her friends and family popped up from where they had been hiding behind the furniture.

  "SURPRISE!" They collectively yelled. Carmen was a bit more than surprised, standing by the door with her mouth gaping.

  Sherry, Nicki, and Dani stood in front of the small group of people, including Carmen's mother, her soon to be new mother-in-law, and her sisters. Her mother spread her arms for a hug as she noticed the tears that had begun to well in Carmen's eyes along with the wide smile that stretched across her lips. Carmen came in and hugged her mother tightly, then turned to her girls with her hands cupping her cheeks, a look of shock on her face.

  "Come on," Dani smirked, "You didn't think I'd let you get off without a bachelorette party, did you?"

  Carmen choked on a laugh as she hugged her girls again.

  "Give a speech, Carmen," Nicki urged, and Carmen rolled her eyes fondly.

  "There isn't much to say," she started. "I would not be the woman I am today without all of the women in this room. I am so grateful."

  Everyone cooed and gathered Carmen in a group hug at her simple, yet sweet speech, and Carmen wiped the tears from her eyes.

  The party was just Carmen's taste; not too wild, only a fun time with the women closest to her. When it was time to give gifts, Dani stood and brazenly reminded everyone to provide monetary gifts if possible. While Carmen did get some cash and credit card gifts, she still got some typical bachelorette gifts such as a set of racy red lingerie that had caused her to blush as red as the gift.

  "Anthony and I are waiting until we're married before going all the way," she shyly admitted.

  Several of the women were shocked at that given the length of time that they had been together. Carmen stated that she had always wanted to save herself for her husband, and Anthony had agreed to wait until they were married. Although her passions for Anthony had more than tempted her, she kept her other responsibilities to her family uppermost in her mind; ensuring that bills were met, the store was kept running and that the girls got into good colleges. Anthony was also focused on the store and his career. After they were married, he wanted to take some pressure off Carmen and secure a comfortable home with her as his wife. Neither of them could afford the complexities of an unplanned child and staying focused was paramount to reaching their goals.

  The party ended on a happy note with the women listening to music and chatting among themselves. They called it an early night to prepare for the big day in the morning.

  The next morning came quickly for Carmen, who had barely slept the night before. Theresa stood behind her daughter Rosa as she applied the finishing touches of makeup and placed pearl tipped bobby pins throughout Carmen's intricate hairstyle. Theresa clasped her hands together in front of her face staring in amazement at her oldest child's image as a bride reflected in the mirror. 'When had she grown into such a beautiful woman?' she mused. Tears began to build in her eyes, and spill slowly down her cheeks.

  "Oh, mommy, please stop the waterworks!" Luisa, Theresa's youngest daughter rudely interrupted her mother's reflections. Luisa was opposite both her older sisters in every way. She had fiery red, curly hair, blue eyes, and a face full of freckles. She was direct to the point of rudeness, in addition to being selfish, and she didn't believe in sharing anything. This included clothes, makeup, money, or the people she loved.

  "I mean honestly you've got two more daughters to marry off, so save some tears for us. She isn't the only Vasquez woman up in here. Who knows mommy, you could get remarried yourself? You're still pretty hot."

  "Luisa! Enough!" Carmen snapped. Her stunning image only slightly marred by the anger at her sister on her face.

  "Don't disrespect daddy that way on my wedding day!"

  Luisa's face flushed the same red hue as her hair. "Oh, please, Carmi." Luisa used the nickname she had given Carmen when they were very young children.

  "Daddy would probably be thrilled to know mom had moved on. Life is for the living."

  Rosa, who had been fussing with Carmen's hair, had been quietly listening to the exchange.

  "Okay, we get it. You want mama remarried. And you want Carmen to marry someone other than Anthony." Rosa sighed, effectively summing up Luisa's horrid behavior in two minutes.

  Luisa's mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water for having been blatantly called on her shit. Rosa was excellent at putting people in their places with very few words. She and Carmen looked the most alike except where Carmen's eyes were a deep brown; Rosa's were slate gray, her skin very fair and easy to burn, her hair like Carmen's was black, thick, long and straight. Frequently they were mistaken for each other from behind. Rosa was the perfect blend of both her sisters in appearance and in temperament. As the middle child, she often found herself the mediator of all the family disputes.

  Carmen sat in her chair and stared at Luisa in the mirror," Do we need to talk mija?"

  Luisa glared at Rosa as if she wanted to drag her around the room by her hair. She raised her finger, pointing it inches from Rosa's face, "See, you've started some shit!"

  Frustrated, Theresa chided her youngest daughter "¡Cuídate la boca hija!", 'Watch your mouth, daughter!', their mother continued, "se hablarán con respeto como te enseñé." 'you will speak to each other with respect as I taught you.' She looked meaningfully at each of her girls, "And you will respect your father and me on this day as well. ¿Entendida?"

  The woman all responded, "Si, mommy." "Yes, mama." "Entiendo."

  After a brief silence, Luisa spoke up again, continuing to press her point. "I'm trying to say the reason I asked for alone time with you before the wedding is because this is our day too. You're our sister, not Sherry's or Dani's or Nicki's. Not by blood like we all are." She whined, but quickly added when she saw Carmen about to defend her best friends, "Although I love all of them for everything, they've done for us, heck everything they've done for you Carmi."

  Carmen absently nodded, used to the drama from her teenage sister, trying to focus on every word her sister was saying while mentally committing to memory the vows she had written to Anthony this afternoon. It took everything she had not to look at the palm of her hand where she'd written her cheat notes. But she knew her high strung baby sister needed to get a few things off her chest. She understood Luisa was afraid of change. She had not had significant disruption in her life since
her grandfather's death, and Luisa was not sure what Carmen's getting married and leaving the household was going to do to her world as she'd known it. Knowing Luisa, she was worried Carmen wouldn't pay for clothes, shoes, makeup and most importantly, Luisa needed to make sure her college tuition was still being set aside for her when it was her turn to enter college. Anthony had not tried to hide his firm belief that the girls should be pulling more of their weight in the family. He felt it unfair that Carmen provided for her entire family while her sisters were able to avoid the responsibilities of life. Rosa expressed her appreciation daily at Carmen's efforts on behalf of their family, and she pitched in whenever she could, and as her college commitments would allow. Luisa, on the other hand, was utterly oblivious or appeared to be, at Carmen's efforts on behalf of the family. She had a strong sense of entitlement and expectation of everything.

  Although one could not argue Luisa was brilliant and effortlessly excelled in her studies. She was a good and kind person beneath her sometimes harsh words, and she had a huge heart, especially towards animals. She liked animals more than people she'd often say, and honestly believed she could understand their needs. She was enthusiastic about veterinary school, believing this was her calling in life. Carmen respected her single-minded determination, and she was committed to ensuring both her sisters met their college objectives. Although Carmen reassured her sister that nothing was going to change, Luisa could not let go of her fears that after her sister married Anthony, her life was going to change for the worse.

  Carmen turned her attention to her sisters, adjusting her body to look directly at both women. She extended her hands to each one, "Don't you two worry, I've got your backs. Nothing will ever come between us. You're my sisters!" She gently pulled the girls in for a group hug. Her mother stood off to the side, watching the three biggest miracles of her life. She couldn't be prouder of each of her daughters. At that moment there was a soft knock at the door, and Nicki entered, pretty as a picture in her simple bridesmaid's dress that complimented Carmen's own uncomplicated, but elegant wedding dress. Nicki took a deep breath at the sight of her friend in her gown.