Becoming Carmen Page 2

  "Sherry, I-" she started, but her friend cut her off.

  "Eres realmente una mujer hoy. 'You are truly a woman today.' Sherry spoke in her perfectly accented Spanish as she continued honoring her friend, "You made the decision to protect not only yourself but your friends, not knowing how things would have gone if you'd made a different decision. You grew up years ago, leaving behind your childhood to help your mom and support your little sisters in their needs. You kept the store going despite everything, just like your grandfather would have wanted." Carmen made a tearful, snorting noise at that, and Sherry finally cracked a smile, despite the tears flowing down her cheeks. "Eres la mujer más valiente que conozco." 'You are the bravest woman I know.' Sherry continued, "The rest of us can only aspire to have half of the strength and guts that you have." Raising her glass to salute her friend, Sherry proposed her toast, "To Carmen," she turned, addressing the whole room and the small crowd also raised their glasses of fruit juice in a salute with her, and repeated, "TO CARMEN!"

  Sherry turned and wrapped her best friend in a tight hug as the room was silent, save for the few sounds of people sniffling and wiping away their tears at the emotional moment.

  Father Joseph stepped forward after Sherry returned to her seat. "Let us all take a moment to pray for Carmen as she steps into womanhood," he said, first in Spanish than in English for the benefit of those that did not speak Spanish.

  After the short prayer, Carmen's mother invited the group to enjoy the festivities, with a brilliant smile on her face. "Now, let the party begin!"

  The music was turned up, and everyone began to mingle, laughing and dancing together in merriment. Carmen stood for a moment, watching all the people she loved most in one room. They hadn't had enough money to rent a venue for the ceremony, so they had used the storeroom of the liquor store. As Carmen watched Sherry and Nicki try to teach Dani the moves to the latest dance craze, and her two younger sisters dancing around Father Joseph, she thought about how there hadn't been this much laughter in the store since before her grandfather's death. She wouldn't have wanted the ceremony to have taken place anywhere else. Her grandfather would have been proud and happy.

  Seeing her daughter isolated in the corner, Theresa Vasquez walked over to where Carmen stood and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, speaking quietly in her ear. "Tanto tu padre como tu abuelo están aquí en espíritu para ti." 'Both your father and grandfather are here in spirit for you.' she said, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. "Estoy muy orgulloso de mi hermosa hija." 'I'm so proud of my beautiful daughter.' Carmen did not think she had any more tears left to cry, but her eyes filled up again at her mother's words. She did not look at her mother, instead the corner of her lips tilted in a faint smile as she continued to look around the room.

  "I know, mama," she said, putting her hand over her mother's own on her shoulder. "Gracias por todo esto." 'Thank you for all this.' She gestured around the room with her cup. "No sería diferente excepto tener a papá y abuelo aquí también." 'I wouldn't have it any different except to have papa and grandpa here as well.'

  Carmen's mother hugged her tightly and nodded against her daughter's head before pressing a kiss against her temple. She missed her little girl who she lost so many years ago in this place, but Theresa was full of excitement at the woman her daughter was becoming.

  CHAPTER 3

  After the ceremony, Carmen changed out of her dress, but at Nicki's insistence, she continued to wear her tiara and remain a princess for the rest of the day. Carmen and the girls stayed at the store to clean up while her mother headed home with her younger sisters. The plan was to hold their girl's meeting afterward. The girls chatted lightly amongst themselves as they cleaned. Carmen was wiping down a table when she dropped the cloth she was holding and looked up at her friends. "I don't know how long the store is going to last with my mom running it," she confessed quietly, causing all conversation to cease. Sherry, Nicki, and Dani all paused their actions to look up at Carmen who at that moment resembled a defeated princess after a hard-fought battle.

  "What?" Nicki asked sharply, breaking the silence. "I thought you guys were doing fine. I mean, yes, money is tight, but you've got a ton of mouths to feed, so that's not unexpected." She said in her usual direct and honest manner, oblivious to the sting of her words. Nicki was an only child in a two-parent home. She didn't have to share anything with anybody, not even her bathroom.

  "Nicki!" Sherry hissed. "God, girl, learn to put a stopper in that running faucet! Geez!" Nicki looked at her in wide-eyed astonishment, clearly not seeing how her blunt words had hurt Carmen. Her big, almond-shaped, hazel colored eyes framed with thick gold lashes that matched her head full of hair, tied up in her signature ponytail looked almost cartoonish. With that look, she would often be forgiven for her impulsive outbursts of insensitive words; the girls could never stay annoyed at her when it was clear that Nicki never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. She was just a naturally blunt speaker but, thanks to her great looks and youthful charms, she managed to be the kind of person that people instantly liked. She always had a bevy of friends around her and was ever quick to apologize when she realized the effect that her words had on people. She slapped her hand over her mouth as soon as she realized her faux pas. Only her wide eyes were visible above her fingers.

  "Oh, my gosh!" she exclaimed between her fingers. "Carmen, I am so sorry. Me and this big mouth! You know what I meant to say. Right?" Eyebrows drawn together in concern, Nicki pleaded for understanding, "I hope you know what I was trying to say! Heck, even I don’t know what I was trying to say! Shit! I'm sorry, girl!"

  As Carmen watched Nicki fluster about her words in a mixture of horror, and embarrassment, she couldn't help but let out an involuntary giggle which quickly morphed into a full-blown laugh. Her shoulders shook with the effort to keep the laughter in, and the tension in the room soon dissipated as Nicki realized that Carmen was not angry at her. Carmen was bent at the waist, clutching her belly as the laughter took over her body and, soon, the room filled with the sound of all four girl's laughter. The task of cleaning was abandoned as the girls slowly gravitated to their usual spots in the storeroom. Dani sat sideways on the oversized brown recliner chair with her long legs draped over an armrest, Sherry slumped down in her favorite beanbag chair in the corner, and Nicki sat on the comfortable, worn, tan sofa that dominated an entire wall of the storeroom. Carmen sat at her usual spot at the table in the center of the room. The food and gifts now cleared, Carmen rested her head in her hands atop the table, shoulders still shaking with laughter which, without warning, gave way to tears. Her shoulders continued to shake with the force of her sobs. She tucked her head into the crook of her elbow, and the room became silent as the other girls noticed the transition. Carmen’s tiara twinkled fiercely with the shaking of her shoulders, and the force of her gut-wrenching sobs. They let her cry a few minutes more, looking at each other with lost expressions and wondering what they could do to help their friend. They silently agreed to give her a moment to get everything out. After several minutes, Sherry gave the other two girls a small nod indicating that they could approach their friend. It was not the first time that any one of them had broken down into tears, heavy with burdens they carried. Each girl pulled out a chair and sat around Carmen, surrounding her with a flurry of reassuring touches on her back, through her hair, on her shoulder. Nicki fussed with adjusting her tiara, which kept slipping to a dubious angle on her head. Sherry, looked at Nicki in disbelief, swatting at Nicki's hands, while she continued to fiddle with Carmen's small crown. They pushed tissues through the barrier of her arms. Eventually, the sobs subsided, with an occasional hiccup wracking through Carmen's body.

  Sherry finally broke the silence, clearing her throat of its own emotions first. "I'd say you just cried enough tears to cover the last five years of pent up emotions," she commented in a forced light tone, betrayed by the genuine concern in her voice. Thankfully, Carmen managed to choke out a strained laugh and finall
y raised her tearstained face, fixing her bloodshot eyes on Sherry. The girls all leaned back as Carmen sat up, giving her space to sit back into her chair. They patiently waited for her to explain in detail what was wrong. Carmen spoke at length about how the store was in a financial decline and, they were struggling to make ends meet.

  "If we don't figure out how to manage the money, balance our books and our budget, we are not going to last another three years," she said, sounding hopeless. "My mom is doing her best, but she is not a business-minded woman. I manage the budget for the house, but the store is something completely different. That's something that my grandpa used to do. Grandpa managed all the money and business details and now that he's gone everything is just -", Carmen stopped talking unable to continue, she took a deep breath, running her palms down her face wiping away her tears.

  "So, why don't we get you enrolled in some accounting and economics classes right away, Carmen?" Dani asked after contemplating for a few moments.

  "I won't be able to do it," Carmen sighed. "I suck at math and numbers, remember?"

  "Not with me as your tutor," Dani answered in a matter-of-fact tone. Moments like these reminded the girls that while people were often distracted by Dani's beautiful face and tall, gangly body, she was a mathematical genius. She had been moved up a grade because of her gift with numbers; she excelled far past the classes they all took. She took courses for mathematics and economics for fun. All her other courses Dani struggled in; writing an essay terrified her, but when it came to numbers, she breezed through them.

  Dani tossed her long, naturally platinum blonde hair over her shoulder and interlaced her fingers, placing her elbows on the table and setting her chin on her palms. She leaned over the table to be face to face with Carmen, which was a natural stretch with her tall frame and long body. The two girls' noses were nearly touching with how close Dani had placed herself to Carmen. Carmen pulled back slightly because of the unfamiliar intensity she saw in Dani's sky-blue eyes. Dani did not react, showing a side of herself that the girls had never seen before- a side that was cool and calculating, smart, and savvy. She kept her focused gaze on Carmen as she spoke, words coming out in a hushed half-whisper as though sharing a secret.

  "I've managed my modeling and business affairs on my own since I was twelve," Dani confided. She paused for effect before continuing. "No one," and to emphasize her point, she raised one long finger, wagging it slowly from side to side, "fucks with my money, my parents included. I run Dani Enterprises. I set it up, I make my money, and I manage the flow." Dani's gaze was sharp on Carmen like a snake watching its prey, an eagle in the sky spotting a mouse in a field.

  "Uh… Dani?" Nicki spoke up softly. "You are scaring me right now."

  Dani blinked quickly, releasing Carmen from the intensity of her stare as if nothing unusual had just happened. Dani returned to her regular casual and easygoing self-removing her elbows from the table, easing slowly away from Carmen's face and back into her chair. The other girls looked at her with expressions that were equal parts of awe and horror. Carmen would not have believed that such a scene had unfolded if she had not been at the receiving end of it. Sherry cleared her throat loudly, still giving Dani a cautious glance that was also full of newfound respect for the girl.

  "So, there we have it. Carmen, you will take all the accounting and economics classes that you can. Dani will tutor you where needed. Then, you will be able to help your mom out with the store and take over the finances. We will do whatever it takes, but we are not going to let you lose this store!" she spoke with conviction in her voice, and the other girls gave firm nods of agreement.

  Sherry and Nicki began to talk excitedly amongst themselves about the plan and how they would help Carmen execute it as quickly as possible to ensure that the store returned to its former glory. While they spoke to each other, Dani turned to Carmen. Her look wasn't as intense as it was a few minutes ago, but it was still sober.

  "I think we should start as soon as we can. You should choose Accounting as an elective this summer,” she said to Carmen. "I'll be choosing it as well, so I can help get you through anything you don't understand and teach you the stuff that is most relevant to running a business."

  "That sounds like a great idea, Dani. Thank you," Carmen agreed, looking around at each of her friends, tears ready to fall. Sniffling and squaring her shoulders, "Thank you guys for hanging in here with me. No sé qué haría sin ustedes. Chicos, los quiero tanto." 'I don't know what I'd do without you all. I love you guys so much.'

  For the first time in a long time, she did not feel old and tired, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Instead, Carmen felt excited and hopeful, like things could finally change, and she would be able to help her mother.

  CHAPTER 4

  Two years later

  It was six months to graduation, and Carmen had been incredibly busy in school with all the extra courses she was taking. After school let out, she always headed straight to the liquor store, and that day was no exception. The small bell above the door lightly jingled as she stepped in.

  “Hey, mama, I’m back from school,” she called to her mother who was at the counter ringing up the purchases of a customer.

  “Hola cariño, ¿cómo estuvo la escuela?” ‘Hey honey, how was school?’ her mom asked as she packaged one of the customer’s items.

  “School was good,” Carmen replied, heading to the back of the store. “I’m going to drop off my bag in the storeroom, and then I’ll come to help you out.”

  Her mom nodded absently at her, focused intently on a conversation she was having with her customer. Carmen walked briskly, to the storeroom so she could drop off her heavy backpack.

  She hurried into the room, following her daily routine of dropping her bag on the floor next to the chair, she usually sat on to complete homework, not taking note of her surroundings. When she looked up, she was shocked to see she was not alone. There was a young man with his back to her changing out of his clothes, and at that moment he was shirtless, his frame slim but toned and physically fit. He seemed to be changing into the stores’ standard work uniform for employees. There was a pair of their brown khaki pants lying on the floor beside his feet, and he was currently pulling over his head one of their newly, monogrammed shirts. He turned as he struggled to get the shirt on, giving Carmen a full and unhindered view of his broad chest, lightly covered with fine dark hair which trailed down the center of his flat stomach, disappearing into his trousers. His skin was tanned and smooth, and Carmen briefly wondered what it would feel like to glide her fingers over it. She had never seen a man in any state of undress outside of her tv screen, and she was momentarily entranced.

  He finally succeeded in pulling the shirt over his head, and suddenly, their eyes locked. The young man, who she initially mistook for a boy her age, was just as startled as she had been at suddenly turning around to see a girl watching him get dressed. He lurched back in shock, losing his footing as he tripped on his pants lying on the ground. He crashed backwards against the metal lockers with a loud clanging sound which managed to break Carmen out of the spell she was in. He managed to regain his balance, just before Carmen stepped forward angrily, still flustered but determined not to let it show.

  “Who the hell are you?” she asked, quickly closing the few feet distance between them, to poke her index finger at his bare chest. She pointedly ignored the pleasant masculine scent of his cologne, and feeling of the firm chest against her finger, instead fixing him with her most intimidating glare. “And what do you think you’re doing, stripping in our storeroom?”

  He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, “My name’s Anthony Mendez,” he replied, sounding a bit agitated at being cornered by a fierce girl who was several inches shorter than him while his shirt was still hanging around his neck. “Mrs. Vasquez is letting me help out around the store.” His voice was low and deep, and surprisingly calm for the situation that he was facing. There was distinct apprehension i
n his eyes. Carmen had to admit grudgingly to herself that she was impressed that he managed to keep cool in the face of her intimidating glare and his current state of undress.

  He had a crop of thick black hair that fell over his forehead and nearly covered big brown eyes, framed with inky black lashes. He wasn’t exceptionally tall, but still tall enough for Carmen to have to tilt her neck up slightly to make eye with him. Carmen’s brain noted that if she stared into those eyes for too long, there was a fair chance of permanently getting lost in them. What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking all these weird thoughts about a stranger?

  She finally moved a few steps back from the proximity of his body, feeling the warmth coming from him. ‘Yup, definitely a man’, she thought. She shook her head slightly to try to clear the thoughts of his eyes from her brain and the young man- Anthony- cleared his throat awkwardly and took a small step closer to her.

  “Are you okay?” he asked in a voice laced with genuine concern that sent currents of shock waves through Carmen’s heart. “You don’t look so good.” Carmen huffed out a frustrated breath and rolled her eyes to dismiss her reaction to him.

  “Of course, I’m fine,” she replied, her tone coming out harsher than she intended. “Your presence here just caught me off guard, that’s all. It’s not every day I come in here to find a half-naked guy.”

  She crossed her arms protectively over her chest and tried to look him squarely in the eyes then, just as quickly, uncrossed them and dropped them back down to her sides. She knew her fidgeting made her appear nervous and less confident. She felt stupid standing there with her hands hanging limp by her sides, and she crossed them again over her bosom. She raised an eyebrow at him, silently daring him to comment on her obvious discomfort, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.